5 Things I Wish I Knew While Dating With Severe Acne

1. My acne and makeup don’t define my beauty.

I always felt insecure about my skin because the face is the first thing many look at when they meet you for the first time. As an individual who suffered from severe acne, I wouldn’t feel beautiful because of the way my skin was and I only felt beautiful when wearing loads of makeup. In my head, makeup meant that my acne would disappear temporarily. It took me a while to realize that wearing makeup doesn’t define my beauty. Makeup doesn’t cover your personality and the great attributes you bring to this world. It’s important to recognize that you are not defined by your skin condition, but by the qualities you have as a person.

2. Confidence is attractive.

I never realized how insecure I would come across until I looked back at the habits I had developed. I remember always avoiding direct eye contact because that meant they’d stare longer at my face and if they did, I’d catch myself putting my hands up to my cheeks. It’s small things that really do make a difference and can come across as insecurities. I know I would notice if a guy avoids eye contact with me or if they try to hide some aspect of themselves when on a date. I’d probably assume there’s something wrong and they’re just not into me. It takes time to develop confidence, but once you’ve overcome your insecurity, I guarantee it will feel extremely liberating to not have to constantly hide.

3. Don’t work extra to impress.

I always felt like because I had acne, I had to make up for that. I would give more, try more, text first, and initiate plans. I often found myself putting in extra work because I felt like acne set me back from being able to fully accept someone’s efforts towards me. They should like you for who you are and you shouldn’t feel like you’re forcing them to like you by giving more of yourself.

4. I am worthy.

I am worthy of someone putting effort towards me. This ties back to the thought of me feeling the need to put in more work because I had acne. I would think less of myself and I didn’t think I was worthy of someone’s efforts towards me, which is why I felt like I had to do more. Putting in work towards someone is something so great, but it shouldn’t be done because you expect less. Partnership is 50/50 and it took me a while to realize that I am worthy of it all.

5. They really don’t care.

I always felt like the other person would not only notice the acne on my face, but that they would point it out and stop talking to me because of it. Truth is, they really don’t care. From the dates that I’ve been on, and the multiple times I’ve opened up about my acne, I’ve learned that almost always the other person is quite understanding. Maybe it has just been my luck, but I’ve never come across a guy that has made a rude comment about it or has changed his way of being towards me because of my acne. This has come to teach me that I am more than my acne. I bring and offer so much that it’s been great seeing how people focus on my qualities as a person rather than focusing on the blemishes on my face. As humans, we can be self-sabotaging, but being surrounded by people who truly value you as a person is a very eye-opening and liberating experience.